REVIEW: ¡DONUTS ABROAD! (or, The Tim Hortons Project)

WHERE: APPARENTLY, EVERYWHERE THERE'S OXYGEN IN CANADA
PAY: Cash or Charge 

So... THIS happened:

My wife-of-wives, blood-of-my-blood, has been stranded in Canada on a work trip for the last 900 years. So... what's a loving husband to do? I strapped on the 'ole passport, jumped into the 'ole autogyro, and ventured to the Great White North!

While abroad, how could I pass up the opportunity to see what confectionary wonders, what toroidal solids (edible), this land beyond the Wall had(s) to offer? Yet, to my chagrin, the only donut-centric confectionaries within a reasonably wide walking distance of the hotel were Tim Hortons. Then more Tim Hortons. Then, just when you start to think, "Wow. Thems a lot of Tim Hortons..." BOOM! ANOTHER Tim Hortons.

Do I like reviewing corporate, chain-type places? Not really. But this is the official donut dispensary of Canda, right? So, with that in mind...

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, CORPORATE CANADIAN CONFECTIONARY! 

OLD FASHIONED, GLAZED - Really, REALLY great, almost bready consistency to the cake. Nice level of moisture in the dough, too. Sticky as all hell, though. Not quite as sticky as it's analog at Krispy Kreme, but still a multiple napkin ordeal.

THE MAPLE DIP - SUGAR. BOMB. However? Very tasty. Nice glaze consistency (though again, a tad too sticky for we of "not liking sticky"-ness). Great maple icing up top. Light an thin enough so as to not change the texture of the bite, between the donut itself and the topping. 

THE "CANADA" DONUT - And how, exactly, was I NOT supposed to eat this donut? Those aren't just sprinkles, fair Reader... they're MAPLE LEAF sprinkles. That said, pretty much the same donut experience as the maple dip, swapping out maple for vanilla and sprinkles.

"Dee... uh... BET-ez?"

OVERALL - Were they good? Yes! Did I feel kinda gross and guilty after eating three of them? Yes. Donuts should be a somewhat decadent delight, to be sure. But the amount of sugar pouring out of all three of these left a bad taste in my mouth. To be fair, I'm not the biggest fan of Kripsy Kreme, either. However, if you're looking for SHOOOOOOOGRRRRRRRR in your donuts... and you're in Canada, hit 'em up, hit 'em up, hit 'em up!